idk if it’s just that midnight existential mania but i feel like i’m going to turn things around here. also sorry if i sound incomprehensible rn.
music isn’t always one of those things that i do compulsively, i’m too scared of it, and while i am figuring out strategies for doing it in spite of that, i think it can become one of those things, maybe it’s just a matter of habit. i spend hours debugging forgejo runners on my nixos home server to absolutely no avail. it’s not really building anything, but it’s something i’m drawn towards (i think because “failing” means little in comparison to creating something, like actually writing code or making music), but music i think differs by very little in the neurons it touches. i’m gonna become the type of person that wakes up and tries to re-create sounds in my head as a pastime, rather than an job that requires the endeavour of deciding to do it each time.
